To Forgive

Forgiveness. Now that’s a hard pill to swallow. A very oversized pill that often gets stuck midway down my throat. By contrast, my dear husband can forgive as quickly as a hummingbird flies and as sincerely as a patron saint. And here I am the one with a spiritual practice. What is it about forgiveness that makes you want to call the whole thing off? At least that’s how I used to feel.

In the past, I was one of those individuals who could not easily forgive. You might say I carried a big chip on my shoulder. So big in fact, it resembled a smelly block of cheese that wouldn’t pair well with even the finest of wines. It was that odorous. Oh, I tried masking its lingering scent with bottles of essential oils, though this proved ineffective. Each bottle pertained to a particular person or noted offense.

As the years went by, my inability to forgive was creating more weight than I could personally carry. Worse yet, it began to take a toll on my health. Yes, that’s what happens when unforgiveness never sees the light of day. It festers, then spreads like hot molten lava covering everything in its path.

I remember well the moment when I first entertained the idea of forgiving those who had in some way made my life painful or difficult. Although, I believe observing my husband’s ability to forgive left an equal impression on me. “Be the better person” he would always say, as well as “focus on the future, not the past.”

For the past ten years I have been practicing and studying the Chinese healing art known as Qigong. My teacher, Master Chunyi Lin, has written several books. I highly recommend reading his autobiography, Born A Healer. In his book he addresses the healing power of forgiveness by specifically saying, “Without true forgiveness you could never be completely healed.” 1

At first, these words were very difficult to read. For years my mind had been stuck on auto replay reliving every painful scene in my life. However, in conjunction with Qigong, I was also practicing a program called DNRS by Annie Hopper targeted at disengaging this trauma loop. These two practices combined contributed greatly to laying the foundation for forgiveness.

The final push, nudge, shove, as it so happened, came from a passage in Master Lin’s book SFQ Level One For Health where he expressed, “Each of these Qigong masters taught that the power of Qigong comes from love, kindness and forgiveness.” 2 Those were very powerful words that made me question how I could continue practicing Qigong if I did not put into practice its main principle—forgiveness.

This is not an easy topic to discuss. There are some crimes and offenses so great, I question if forgiveness in these instances is even possible. Now I’m not asking you to forgive. I am simply telling my story, and if it resonates with you, I will be pleased.

On my journey towards forgiveness, it was first helpful to begin by understanding the person behind the hurtful behavior. What contributed to their life story? This insight alone helped me to navigate these precarious waters, leading me ashore to a more receptive state. The biggest change that occurred due to my dedicated practice of Qigong and DNRS happened slowly and over time. I stopped focusing on the past. Sometimes this was a difficult achievement because my whole identity relied on my past.

Who would I be if anger and resentment were no longer at the helm? I had to be willing to let go of my past and envision the life I desired. To forgive is to live in the present moment.

There is one other thing I wish to pass along at this point. Something I had never considered. Forgiveness is a two sided coin. In my Qigong teacher’s subsequent book he writes, “When you forgive others, you allow them a chance to purify their energy.” 3 So, there you go. How much more do we need to know?

Forgiveness is a process that requires reconstituting the heart and soul, and in doing so, cleanses and purifies the past. However, it is not something that can be forced, nor should it be. I am also not advocating the act of forgiving and continuing to remain in a situation that could be harmful. For this serves no individual’s highest good.

I now have moments when my heart is clear and not clouded by resentment, anger, or upset. I never knew this could be possible. When we forgive, we are opening ourselves to the highest healing power—Divine Love, which then permeates our entire life. Miracles can take place if you are willing to do the work, and to forgive.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

– Lao Tzu

Notes

Chunyi Lin, Born A Healer (USA: Spring Forest Publishing, 2005), 44.
Chunyi Lin, SFQ-Level One for Health (USA: Spring Forest Publishing, 2011), 74.
Ibid., 69.