Comfort

Plain and simple.

Tonight I’m feeling rather depressed, to the point where not even a cute little costumed hedgehog can lift my spirits. Perhaps a wee bit, but back to my blue mood. I live with a chronic illness, and as such, I have my good days and I have my bad days, which can be filled with sorrow and self-pity.  And when these difficult days present themselves, it feels as if I’m running a marathon, where I have to keep going despite the pain and uncertainty. 

It is the uncertainty of this illness that remains elusive, as though I am walking through a long dark tunnel and wondering if I will ever see the light again. And whenever my hope begins to fade, I remind myself to not give in to those fears that loom large.  The evening hours seem to be the most difficult for me, as the night wears on.  

But tonight, I tried something different to help ease my growing concerns.  I let go of the worry and completely surrendered into the unknown. Oddly enough, I experienced a feeling of peace, to the point where my fortune-telling tendency took a backseat and I became present in this moment of my life. It was the relief I so needed.

When those darkest of days arrive, I am drawn to seek comfort in whatever form it may be: A loving embrace from my husband, the rising steam from a bowl of pasta, a favorite magazine, or the warmth from the floor vent on a cold winter night. It is these simple pleasures in life that bring me comfort, and I think this is what I most seek when I am feeling down. Comfort, plain and simple.