The Particulars

When to share, and when to reel it in.

Ladies, it’s time to get real.  Why just the other day while applying my favorite shade of lipstick, I spotted a one inch black facial hair growing perpendicular from my neck. I gasped in horror.  You mean to tell me that I’ve been walking around and talking to people with a Rapunzel like hair growing in the wrong location and direction?

At first, I didn’t know what to do.  Do I pluck it or do I snip it?  Well, that debate lasted for all of about five seconds.  I chose to retrieve my husband’s rusty trusty pliers from his toolbox to make certain that colossus of a hair never ever returns.  Of course, I’m only kidding.  My lady pink colored tweezers did a fine job.

It feels like full-time employment, dare I say, keeping my whiskers and such at bay.  You see, I was cursed with the mother lode of facial and bodily hair.  Thanks, Mom.  How is it possible that my father had nary a trace of body hair?  None, whatsoever.  I’d look at his legs, then back at mine.  I’d look at his arms, then back at mine, and wonder, “How?” before excusing myself to go shave my legs . . . again.

As a teen, my soft facial hairs were deemed fresh and oh so attractive.  They’re still there, however, my once collagen filled face now looks a little aged and more like yesterday’s fruit.  

A friend once suggested I use her hair removal method, which looked more like a magic wand.  Knowing my luck, each follicle would grow back with a vengeance, or even worse yet, can you say Chia pet—just add water.

I feel better now having shared a personal detail from my life.  The more we share what we care about, the easier it is to cope and connect with one another.  It’s not that I wish to overshare—don’t care.  There are times when the intimacies of life need revealing.

Now, would I share this story while standing in the produce section selecting a ripened cantaloupe?  Heavens no!  I have a certain amount of decorum.  The freezer aisle is best for such details.

Choosing the appropriate time such as when and where to air our laundry or reveal a delicate matter can’t be overstated.  Especially in this tell-all cell phone world in which we live.

Honestly, I don’t really wish to hear through your speaker phone, when Cousin Ginny is coming to visit, or the fact that she continues to say she is a size 6 when she is clearly a lovely size 10.  That’s between you and your friend.

Let’s try to be mindful of when we share and when we care.  Notice other people’s reactions—track their facial expressions.  If they begin to pull back and squinch their eyes, you’ve gone too far.  Real it in (pun intended).

So now you know far more about me than you ever needed to know.  However, this story was read on your terms, in the privacy of your own space.  I will leave you with this one last thought.  Please be polite, don’t over share or stare, unless you see that monster of a hair.