Mind Your Manners

As a young child, my husband, along with his three siblings and parents, gathered together every Sunday for a formal dinner in their dining room. And it was here that my husband learned the simple etiquette rules: do not play with your food, do not tease your brothers, and most importantly, do not make faces in the dining room mirror.

Now, if you knew my husband and his siblings, this was a tall order to place on their little plates. However, I must say his parents’ persistence and hard work most certainly paid off. My husband has impeccable manners. That is, until he met me.

When it comes to dinnertime in our household, all bets are off. This just seems to be the best time when we connect and laugh hysterically until we are both rolling on the floor. In our home, making funny faces is strongly encouraged.

This past Thanksgiving, I instructed my husband to purchase tasteful sized dinner rolls. Last year, he brought home dinner rolls the size and shape of a large canine chew toy, which were ideal for a game of tug-of-war or backyard Frisbee. This year, I was most pleased when he arrived home from the grocery store with half a dozen traditional sized dinner rolls. Perfect!

Our Thanksgiving dinner was plentiful and delicious. It was just my husband and me. However, when he took a bite from his dinner roll, my eyes grew wide.

“What the heck is inside your dinner roll?” I curiously asked. Unknowingly, my husband had purchased rolls filled with slices of pepperoni and provolone cheese.

“They taste great!” he said.

“You had one job and one job only, and that was to purchase plain dinner rolls.”

“You’ve got to try them,” he said.

“I think not,” I replied.

“Seriously, they are so good!”

And that’s when the hysterics began. Somehow or another, my husband managed to manipulate the half-eaten roll as though it were a puppet. And funnier yet, the slice of pepperoni inside the roll looked like a little tongue. Hilarity ensued, as the pepperoni puppet said the funniest lines to me.

Tears were now streaming down my face from laughing so hard, and my husband was deeply belly laughing, which made his whole-body shake. After the gigglefest settled down and we had both composed ourselves, I swear I felt twenty years younger. The weight and worries of the world had been momentarily lifted by pure sublime laughter. This will remain as one of my most cherished and favorite holiday memories.

Chew with your mouth closed, swallow thoroughly, and then laugh with abandon. These are the rules we follow in our household.