It’s OK to be Afraid

I can do this. I can do this! Well, maybe not today.

“So, what happens if, say, I have a panic attack midway?”  

The young chair lift operator looked me squarely in the face and said matter-of-factly, “You have to ride it out.”

“Huh, good to know,” I responded.  “And just how long would I ‘have to ride it out?’”

“Well, the chair lift is ten minutes each way.  The hardest part will be on the way down.”

By now, my front teeth were beginning to bite firmly on my lower lip, which is always an indication that I am pondering a rather serious situation.  “Thank you,” I said and walked away.  Halfway to the boutique ski store, I turned around and, with great purpose, walked back towards the chair lift, all the while chanting, “I can do this, I can do this!”  As my legs drew closer leading up to the lift, I realized “I can’t do this, I can’t do this!”

“You don’t get many opportunities in life.  What’s the worst thing that can happen?”  My husband was trying to be supportive and playing Husband Knows Best at the same time.

“I’ll jump off the chair,” I said.

“You’ll what?”

“I wouldn’t really jump off the chair, but you know what I mean.”

Sometimes when I’m hard pressed and have to do something fearful, I’ll pretend that I’m on a date with my husband and wish to make a great first impression.  But my subconscious wasn’t having any of that today.  Instead, it said, “It’s OK to be afraid.  If not today, then there’s always tomorrow, or the next day and the next until you are ready.  This isn’t about power talking your way out of it.”

My friend once shared some very insightful advice concerning a self-empowering exercise she received from her Life Coach.  “Trust what the subconscious brings up.  It knows what you need to heal.”

So on this day, I decided to trust my subconscious by not forcing myself to ride the ski lift.  When the time is right, I will readdress this issue or not.  There were other areas in my life that required my best energy and focus.  This was not a high priority right now.

As much as I did not wish to let my husband down, I knew I made the right decision by listening to my true feelings.

Fear is not an easy emotion to navigate.  It is important to know when to challenge ourselves and when best not.  Many of us require a running start (sometimes over and over) in order to face our fears.  Then you have those heroic few who parachute their way through fear with one singular jump.  Personally, I wasn’t born that way.

I recently read an article stating that fear can be an indicator of not having the necessary skill set to perform a particular task.  With this type of fear, more time or training may be required or needed.  Now, that’s good advice.

 However fear may manifest in your life, please allow yourself to acknowledge it, and, if possible, give yourself permission to say, “Yes, I can do this” or “No, I cannot.”  Either way, it’s OK to be afraid.

NOTE:  The brief article on fear is from the June 2020 issue of Oprah Magazine and is titled Scare Tactics, nine small articles addressing fear.  Barry Moniak spoke on skill set “Take Fear’s Advice.”