State of Action vs State of Being

In the long run, it’s good to know which shoe fits.

I have a friend who is considering purchasing a home.  While discussing her plans over lunch, she commented on becoming active in the community once she is settled.  However, it did not take long for her to acknowledge that she was not comfortable contributing in this manner.  “It’s not really me,” she said.

As we talked further, she realized she was fulfilling someone else’s agenda rather than her own.  “It’s not for me, either,” I said.  You could see her body begin to relax when I validated her truth with my truth.

It is not easy saying no, especially to communities in need of help.  I, too, have felt that pressure.  At the end of our conversation, it dawned on me that there are two forces at work here.  The first, a State of Action.  The second, a State of Being.  Some people effect positive change through action, joining committees and various organizations.  Others simply effect change through their very presence.  One is not better than the other.  Each is different, though equally needed.

What my friend did not realize is she is the type of person who effects change through her State of Being.  She is one of the loveliest people I know.  Her voice is soft and soothing, her presence calming.  Through our conversation, I discovered that my State of Being (my contribution to the world) is through beauty, insight, and empathy.  Conversely, we have a mutual friend whose contribution in life falls in the State of Action category.  This person is always on the go, serving as president on some committee, and traveling the world to educate people in her area of expertise.  Her life is non-stop, which she not only thrives on, but loves.

Like my gentle friend, I am more of an introvert who prefers small gatherings to large affairs.  And, meet and greet has never been a skill set of mine.  Not to mention small talk.  I’d much rather sit in a nice comfy corner reading a good book while people mingle about.

In the long run, it’s good to know which shoe fits.  State of Action vs State of Being is a reflection of our innate personality.  Sometimes, within each category, you will find varying shades of gray; such as a career, or life circumstance that requires you to step into a different state of relating.  However, there is a reason why the Yin and Yang model exists, to balance the natural forces in life.

As I settle into this new chapter—State of Being, it feels truly good to my soul.  Like a long awaited homecoming.  I can now rest, relax, and, most importantly, take care of myself.  This, in turn, will take care of everything and everyone else.